Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
FUCK WHALES
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
