wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
