i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
