I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
