Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
