Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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