He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
