Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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