shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
