can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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