I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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