yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
