escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
