Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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