Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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