Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
grandma shit on top of the toilet
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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