Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
