thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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