The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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