the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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