would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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