this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
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