1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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