I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
