she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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