just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
