ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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