mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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