So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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