He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
