is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
please come you make the beer taste better
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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