Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
