I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Randomize
