My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
