girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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