mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
