How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
