party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
