This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
