yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
