Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
