Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
a search helicopter?!
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You made out with two different species that night
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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