I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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