We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
