ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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