if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
