Your tits are I can't wait for
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
