so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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