Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Houston, we have a squirter
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
