yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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