I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
