they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
