dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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